The Other Canadian

I was emailed this brilliant insight to the Canadian psyche. And, I love it.

It was written by Rick Mercer a presenter/comedian who does a show that is called "The Mercer Report". It has scathingly funny skits & commentaries on Canada & the world in general. Suffice to say that if we had a Singapore version of Rick (Mr Brown comes the closest), he'd probably not be living in Singapore.

"On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to
offer an apology to the United States of America.

We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out.
If it's any consolation, the fact that he'sa moron
shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America.
After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber.
Just because we have more trees than you
doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's
cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey.
In our defence I guess our excuse would be that
our team was much, much, much, much better
than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House
during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it!
It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had
nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq.
I mean, when you're going up against a crazed
dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side.
I realize it took more than two years before you
guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different.
Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians,
I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing
for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is
really a thinly veiled criticism.

I sincerely hope that you're not
upset over this.

We've seen what you do to countries you
get upset with.

Thank you."

R. Mercer